I Made Excuses for My Addiction to Social Media
It was September 2025. I was in Spain with 20 strangers that I had somehow grown close to while hiking a stretch of the Camino de Santiago. We had just finished hiking nine miles for the day, and our bodies were exhausted. Back at the hostel, we all lay in our beds and pulled out our phones.
Five of us had grown especially close during our hikes and we followed each other on Instagram.
Feeling bored, we began to send each other funny Instagram reels. We spent the next hour or two laughing until our stomachs ached at the ridiculous reels that we sent each other.
Looking back at that memory, I feel bittersweet emotions.
On one hand, I loved laughing with those girls. I hadn’t laughed that hard in a long time and it brought us closer together.
On the other hand, I wonder what we would have done if we hadn’t spent all of that time on our phones.
I wonder if we would have had deep conversations about life. I wonder if we would have danced in the rain that fell lightly outside of our windows. I wonder if we would have stayed more in touch after the trip, if we had spent less time on our phones and more time just interacting with each other.
I have so many memories with social media and I am sure that you do, too. According to a recent study done by Statista, the average time spent on social media per person totals 2 hours and 21 minutes per day. That adds up to 35 days spent just on social media in one year.
With all of that time spent on social media, of course we have so many memories with it. Of course we reference so many of our jokes to the reels that we’ve seen. Of course we obtain all of our ideas from influencer feeds.
We are so saturated in social media that it permeates our entire being. Social media is literally changing our personalities and preferences.
I had realized all of this and had felt for about a year that I should delete my social media accounts.
I realized how much time I spent online. I was constantly looking for approval from others and leaning on social media for ideas instead of using my own mind. And yet, even after reading inspiring books like Ten Arguments For Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now by Jaron Lanier, I couldn’t bring myself to delete my Instagram or Facebook. I told myself that my posts were inspiring others; that I was changing people’s lives. I told myself that these platforms were how I stayed connected with long-distance friends.
While none of this was necessarily untrue, I was ignoring the negative side of how social media was affecting me.
I was ignoring the fact that I constantly felt distracted and that I had a hard time listening to people. My mind felt foggy and my attention span was becoming shorter every day. Simple things like sitting down and reading a book, or watching the sunset, all felt like too much work.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to do those things–I actually longed for them. It was that it felt so much easier to just sit back, watch reels, and to not think about anything.
And so, for months, I convinced myself that I was fine. I told myself that this was normal–that everyone struggled with grogginess and distractions, that everyone spent time on social media, that I wasn’t “that bad.”
I justified my way of living because I needed an excuse for my addiction to social media.
Then, in November 2025, I read the book 10 Rules For Raising Kids In A High-Tech World by Jean M. Twenge. I thought that this would just be another book that would hype me up to take a month off social media, spend less time on my phone, and give me that quick, motivational burst that I so often craved.
The more that I read this book, the more convicted I felt. I don’t have any children yet, but reading about how to raise them forced me to look at my own, unhealthy habits. I began to wonder how I could expect my future children to be phone-free if I was spending so much time on social media. How could I expect them to play and live a carefree life if I was constantly sitting in front of them, scrolling through reels?
I thought really hard on these questions and finally came to the realization that if giving up social media now could benefit my future children, it would be worth it. If giving up 2+ hours of social media per day could make me a more present mom ten years from now, it would be worth it. I wanted to become the future mom I saw myself being. I didn’t want to wait to change myself.
Coming to this realization was much easier than it was to get rid of social media.
I wrote a post, telling all of my followers the date that I would be deleting my accounts: December 9, 2025.
When that day came, I deleted my accounts–and immediately felt sad.
I was not expecting to feel that emotion and it confused me. This was supposed to be a triumph. This was me conquering an addiction. Shouldn’t I be excited, proud and confident?
I realized that the reason was because I was afraid that I would miss out on life.
I was afraid that I wouldn’t see photos of my old schoolmate’s new baby. Afraid I wouldn’t hear about my uncle getting married. Afraid I wouldn’t be able to get that crazy deal on Facebook marketplace.
I had created a false reality in my mind. I had imagined that all of my followers online were my true friends. I had imagined that I was much closer to each of my followers than I actually was.
90% of them wouldn’t personally message me a photo of their new baby, so why did I care so much about the fear of missing out (FOMO)? Why did I care about these people who I never even spoke to?
I realized that the people who really mattered to me WOULD tell me when they got married. The people who truly loved me WOULD send me photos of their new baby. I wasn’t missing out on the people who I loved the most when I wasn’t on social media. In fact, it was the opposite.
The people who I loved the most were the ones who suffered from me spending hours online. I had slowly been wreaking havoc in the relationships closest to me, all because I needed to maintain my online relationships.
I didn’t lose connection when I logged off—I finally noticed who I had been neglecting.
It’s been almost two months now since I deleted my social media accounts. My mind feels less cluttered. I can sit down and read a book so much easier than I could two months ago. My best friend told me that I talk to him more now than when I had social media. I have more ideas and creativity. I am realizing that I can generate my own ideas—that I don’t have to go on Pinterest or Instagram.
Social media may not be your struggle. It could be video games, Pinterest, YouTube or TV shows.
You don’t have to delete social media like I did, but I want you to at least ask yourself these questions:
How does what I do on my screen make my IRL relationships thrive?
How does what I do on my screen harm them?
Take time to truly ask yourself those questions and then DO SOMETHING with what you discover. It could change your life.
Keziah Montgomery resides in Guthrie, OK. She is passionate about using time wisely and embracing the life that we each have been gifted. She loves sparkles, being with people, reading her Bible and is a very goal-oriented individual.